Imposters

In his inspirational poem, "If," Rudyard Kipling uses these words: "If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same...you'll be a man, my son." In my week at MD Anderson, late March, 2005, I met with the imposter called "Disaster" in the form of being told that I would live less than twelve months. Later, I met with the imposter, "Triumph," when I was told that my biopsy showed dead tissue, no cancer, and therefore the twelve-month death sentence was cancelled.

I realized that we all have a human tendency to call news of short life "bad news," and news of longer life "good news." It dawned on me why these two are imposters: they distract us from the real issue, which is not length, but quality of life. By quality I mean the kind of character we are cultivating inside us.

When we speak of "quality of life," we commonly embrace a third imposter. We usually refer to how comfortable we feel, or how many experiences we are getting that we enjoy. We want to be sure we take in as much as we can before we die and lose what life on Earth has to offer us. But the issue before us that really counts is what kind of sunshine we are giving out from our innermost being.

God has used the on and off death sentences my two cancers have given me to repeatedly refocus me on a passion for what kind of person I am becoming. I want more urgently than ever to cultivate within myself a quality of character consistent with being a citizen of Heaven, on temporary diplomatic assignment to a foreign country called Earth -- where I am to serve.